My Life a Bitter Apple
by twilight.fan.616
Summary: First chapter. Edward had a deep relationship with a previous girl she killed herself and he does not want to go back to forks and come back to the memories. He comes back and meets Bella she is now running for her life. Literally. R&R!
1. Memoirs

My life a Bitter Apple

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any book by Stephenie Meyer! **

My life a Bitter Apple

_It all started with that one human girl. That weak stupid human! She ruined me, my family and herself in her hatred towards us. How that senseless human could ruin so much. I didn't mind now because she had killed herself too in the process how stupid! How could I let myself be used by her it was all a game. _

"Hello Alice what do you need?"

"You need to go to school Edward, Carlisle isn't happy with you neither is Esme we all miss you."

"What do you want me to do? Go back and remember _her_? I won't do that."

"Well at least come back."

"Fine Alice. I'll be there"

She had been on my case for more than a month now so I gave in. I had left home since she killed herself and my happiness. She took it all with her and left me with a note reading: "_I love you Edward but I can't take the pain of not being good enough for you and lying to you. The truth is that I was hired to learn things about you and then tell the person. When I fell in love with you I couldn't do it anymore so I lied and when they found out, the stress was too much! But promise me one thing, do not kill yourself. I love you more than to want you to join me it will get better I promise…_**I love you." ****–**_Ashley_

That. That one paragraph broke me to pieces and I still hadn't recovered.

How one human could break me so easily. She had been the one who I could look into her eyes and think she hid nothing from me. I was so wrong in trusting a human to know what she had known all those feelings bound up that I released to her. All that trust just shattered. It hurt me so bad to know that I had loved her and trusted my whole life practically in her tiny hands. So warm and so fragile how could I do that to her? I was a horrible monster that was meant to be locked up forever in his own guilt. That didn't matter anymore, my feelings weren't important what mattered was my family how I had just deserted them in a time of crisis. I really was a monster even to my own kind. Now I had to leave this place where I felt I was safe from the pain and I had to take it all. I had to face the pain and get over it as she asked me to.

"_I love you. Don't do any thing stupid while I go to my mom's house okay?" Those were the last words she said how she had looked at me with that longing and tried to kiss me but I told her softly instead, "Not tonight. You have other things to think about, your mother is sick." How she had looked guilty and started to cry saying, "It's my entire fault! It's my entire fault!" I instantly told her it wasn't but she kept on crying until she fell asleep in my arms. I was helpless to do anything but hold her there because I didn't know the reason why it was her fault I don't think even she did because all she could remember in her mind was her mother yelling at her telling her that she could have a happy life without her and she was saying she couldn't. "Maybe an argument of the many they had and she thought she was a bad child and her mother held her responsible? No, that can't be it." She stirred how beautiful she was her blood pounding through her veins I could smell it I had even become immune to it as well as most of the human population's in that town. _

I kept having those flashbacks that took me to her and it was hurting me so much but I still wondered why? She was a human that had lied to me I don't know how she got away with it she couldn't block her mind but she used to always slip a little. I was suspicious for a while then I asked her and she would say it was her past of secrets and gangs that she had been involved with. So I ignored it but once she slipped up really badly, she thought about a her in a dark alley giving a guy a piece of paper with typed information about "Mythical Creatures" and the date of the printed page at the bottom had been 2007 so she couldn't deny that but she just told me it was her father that was a history teacher and like mythology that owned a shop and that was the alley behind it. I don't know how she got away with it but she did. Now I realized what all that had been and why she kept going to her "mom's house" I was stupid and pathetic I didn't deserver to live. Even it this hell.


	2. Perfect

DISCLAIMER: I do no own twilight or any of the books by Stephenie Meyer

**DISCLAIMER: I do no own twilight or any of the books by Stephenie Meyer!**

Timing

I was getting near I could hear them. As I turned the last corner I finally saw my family and they wore smiles on their faces. How could that be?! I abandoned them and they still wanted me! That brought joy but only momentarily my family was incomplete without Ashley… no I can't think about those bad times. I must make myself forget them.

Alice of course just practically yelled and was bouncing as she ran towards my car _what a surprise_ I thought to myself "Same Alice huh." Rosalie just smiled and nodded I guess everyone was happy to see me. And it didn't surprise me because I'd been gone for a decade. I walked out of my car and was literally thrown to the ground by everyone that was saying in unison "We missed you!" I would get through it all, somehow.

When I walked in it was the same only maybe a bit quiet like there was a feeling of sadness throughout the whole entire house. It wasn't Jasper's doing because I looked at him and he shook his head and said "Esme has not smiled or hardly spoken to us the whole time you were…not here." He finished even quieter. I looked at him and gave him a hug for the longest time ever. I had hurt everyone it was not fair I would have to do my best to at least pretend I was better.

Just then Esme came to me and hugged me even longer and if she could have cried we would have been swimming in tears. Carlisle hugged me as well and told me that he had missed me too, while Esme had been running through sentences giving me a lecture everyone else started thinking about '_all the great things we're going to do now!' _Alice, I made a sour face and she smiled at me like she was an angel. It was not as hard as I thought it would be. I walked around the house and went to see all their rooms. For the most part they were the same like I remembered and then I went up to my room; everything was just like I had left it. I knew someone had come in many times because it was clean and there was not a speck of dust. I didn't want to leave them alone so we went downstairs to talk and to catch up and we did, maybe even too much. I had to hear what they were thinking exactly it was like they had forgotten I could hear what they were thinking. I don't think they noticed it, except for Alice and Jasper he had a smug smile on his face because he felt how uneasy I was and realized that I was hearing about something he obviously knew about because he thought, _"It's worse when you saw it happen. Oops you just did! Ha"_ Alice was just as careful but slipped once and thought '_he's going to love that party'_ she noticed her mistake when she saw my surprised face. Everyone stopped and looked at me and Alice I just said "There's a freaking party?!" the others just started yelling at her I sat back and relaxed because finally everyone wasn't fussing over me and I could breathe, not that I needed to but once they settled down they started thinking, _again_. They didn't even remember! It got so bad I had to remind them and when I did the room went quiet literally I heard nothing they blocked their heads immediately and it was good to have quiet for once.

It was quiet for a little more until I broke the silence and told them it was okay just that I didn't want to hear it _all._ Then Alice said the one thing I didn't want to hear, "Get ready we're going to school tomorrow." I just lost it I went blank and so did she; she witnessed what would happen if I did. What she saw was people starring at me asking me who was I, was I interested I them, was I single and what was I to be so perfect. That wasn't the worst part she saw a girl, Bella Swan, running and tripping trying to escape us, from us she knew that we were monsters and she knew exactly of what kind.


	3. AUTHORS NOTE SORRY

Authors note:

**Authors note:**

For those of you that didn't pay attention to the summary…(no offence to anyone)

Ashley is Edwards ex stated in the summary… clearly saying they were

involved deeply in a relationship and she killed herself then that is

explained in the first chapter.


	4. confessions

DISCLAIMER: THE WONDERFUL BOOKS OF TWILIGHT, NEW MOON AND ECLIPSE ARE NOT MINE THEY BELONG TO THE VERY, VERY TALENTED STEPHENIE MEYER

**DISCLAIMER: THE WONDERFUL BOOKS OF TWILIGHT, NEW MOON AND ECLIPSE ARE NOT MINE THEY BELONG TO THE VERY, VERY TALENTED STEPHENIE MEYER.**

Running

"I can't go! Alice you're insane!"

"Say whatever you want but Carlisle already decided you're going and you know that it you have to go in order not to raise suspicions."

"You don't have to say that I'm here then nobody will know!"

"Carlisle already enrolled you for the school. He can't say that you are not going to come after all, it's too late."

I ran up the stairs not sure what to do. Get ready for _that_ or just skip school for one day. No, she will still see my family I can't let her see them. Maybe the vision was after school and she overheard us say something or touched our cold skin? There would be students but she was just in the parking lot in the vision. I should go to be able to know when she finds out and tell my family so we could make some kind of quick escape.

"Alice, I'm going but only to help. I'll listen to her thoughts and tell you guys when suspicion arises. If anything happens I'm not going back and you won't be able to force me to. Okay?"

"Sure just be sure you don't run out on us and be sure you actually tell us and stay calm."

"Fine."

As we were on the way to school something was bothering me and to be truthful it was a smell. It smelled so sweet that I almost ran out of the car to follow it but Jasper sensed that and stopped me. Everyone turned around and asked what happened I told them and Emmet stared at me his thoughts saying one thing. _It's his singer._ I froze who was it? The only one who it could possibly be was the new girl that knew about us and that would mean that I would not be able to be near her so my plan was ruined. Great.

"Alice turn around."

"No."

"Alice!"

"I can't we're here. And _she's_ there."

I searched for her and saw her in front of the car only problem was she was too close and I heard absolutely no thought from her.

"Alice, I…I can't hear her."

She stared at me. Blankly. She saw what would happen in the next second_, the girl staring at us eyes wide in fear. She drops her books and runs to her home. She turns the corner and falls._ Alice came to the present and the girl stared at us, ran and tripped just how Alice saw she would. I thought fast, got out of the car, held my breath ran after her then stopped her once she was in a secluded area.

When she saw me she yelped in fear and froze. I only stared at her with cold eyes and waited for the others to come I waited and they didn't come. I decided to see what they were thinking…they were going to leave me alone with to do with her as I wished either keep her alive, kill her or kidnap her. I did not know what to do but I was _not_ going to kill her I'll kidnap her so I did. I picked her up she screamed but I covered her mouth and she started to squirm.

"I don't want to hurt you so don't move."

She went almost limp in an instant but she continued to stare at me. I didn't want to take her to my house so I took her into the woods I found a clear spot where she could sit and I could keep an eye on her. When I removed my hand from her mouth she started to hyperventilate. Great, just what I needed in a way I felt sorry for her she didn't know she would find us here so I decided best not to scare her more and be nice to her.

"What's your name?" I asked as softly as I could.

"B-bella." She stuttered

"Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you."

"But I _know_ are you supposed to kill me or the Volturri?"

She knew everything! "How did you find out?"

"I…I…."

"How?!" I growled she jumped in fear there had to be another way without scaring her.

"Look I don't _want _to hurt you but you have to answer me okay? I looked in her eyes, filled with tears from fear and found myself feeling sad for her it wasn't her fault; most likely.

"My, cousin. He… he's a werewolf in Italy near Volterra and on an occasion I kind-of forced him to tell me."

"How?" That's against their rules!

"He was stressed and when he got home that night I was waiting and started to tell him why he was so late, why he was never really around anymore and it took him to his breaking point. His form started shifting and before I knew what was happening a big wolf the size of a horse was in front of me."

He quickly recovered but made me promise never to tell anyone. Then he explained why he was out a lot and I asked him the question that changed my perspective on my life which I took for granted at that time. I asked him what he was after. He said vampires. He told me what you looked like and told me of the battles he had seen other werewolves fight and die in but one he remembered one where the werewolves had died brutally because of the Volturri. He told me all the stories. Of course I hadn't broken the promise until now."

She looked around nervously. Avoiding eye contact as she had all the while she had told her story.

I gently called her name to see what her reaction would be and when she looked into my eyes I saw the same fear she had shown before. What made her afraid even her heart I could hear was louder which was not helping me.

"Bella. Why are you afraid of me?"

She looked away again.

So I asked her in a very gentle voice. "Why won't you look at me?"

"I won't hurt you I promise. Bella are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She replied silently.

"Would you like to go back to school now?"

"No."

She still wouldn't look at me so I softly turned her face to look at me. When I saw her eyes they were beyond fear. They shined in terror.

"I won't hurt you just promise _me_ one thing. Don't tell anyone what we are and we won't hurt you or any one else I promise."

Tears formed in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. I let her go and she continued to stare at me.

"But I'm supposed to die how can you say that? You are supposed to kill me."

"But I won't."

"Then you'll get killed by _them_!"

She stared to cry harder I acted on instinct and I hugged her. She stopped breathing and I let her go and moved quickly away from her before I did anything else stupid.

"I'm sorry. Would it help if I told you why I reacted like that?"

She shrugged.

"I'll tell you but it will be hard for me trying to remember all these things I've been finally able to block."

She looked up at me bewildered.

"You see, years and years ago I… I fell in love. With a girl named… Ashley. She was the prettiest girl in that school at that time and I had fallen in love with a human and so it had seemed that she had fallen in love with me. We went out but she often went on vacation back then she told me it was because, well that she had to take care of things then one night Alice had a vision," at this point I was lost in my own story not seeing the tree's around us but the images of Ashley I'd been holding back. "she saw her giving information about us to a man when I asked what that was about she lied but eventually she I caught on. It was a weird night she had been so scared so quiet and when I came back from hunting the next day I found a note in my room." I was abruptly stopped when I realized Bella had started to realize that it had gotten to personal again. "Sorry. I'll just summarize the rest. The note explained what she had been doing and that she had… she… she had jumped off a bridge to justify the pain and anguish she had felt for lying to me." I looked away. I wanted to run but I couldn't leave her here.

"Oh." Her soft voice broke the silence.

"I'm sorry for my reaction to your tears. It won't happen again. It's just that it reminded me of when she cried that night and wishing I would have not been so angry as to help her out. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I looked down to see a hint of a smile on her face.

"Do I still scare you?" I asked and she looked down.

"I won't hurt you I just want o know the truth."

"Yes." She replied in a tiny voice unsure of my reaction.

I walked closer to her and crouched down in front of her I didn't want her scared of me and it would help if her heart would calm down.

"Bella?" She slowly looked up.

"I don't want to scare you but do you think you can calm down a bit. Your heart is beating erratically and it's driving me insane." I grinned and looked at her in pleading eyes. She looked away and started to breathe deeply trying to calm down.

"Just relax."

"Can I tell you something?" she asked very softly as if unsure of what to say.

"Of course." How could I deny her that!

"I will keep your secret but I'm just not sure if I…if," she looked at me.

"Go on."

"If I trust you enough to keep _your_ promise." She looked down again.

I lifted her face with one hand carefully to make sure she wouldn't get scared and then when she looked at me I let go.

"I _promise_ you that I will. Besides I've lasted this long _alone_ with you it won't be harder with other humans around."

She looked around like she had just realized we were alone.

"Do you believe me now?"

"I – I can't. And I never will."

"Why?" I felt bewildered and a bit angry so I lowered my voice.

"Why will you never be able to believe me!?"

She gasped and held her breath obviously frightened.

"You're inhuman." She only mouthed.

"I'm sorry then." I knew my voice sounded harsh but I didn't care.

"But please explain to me why that matters? I'm not human and what that means I'm a traitor?! So just…"

"No." she cut me off.

"I also…. I had boyfriend and he-he wasn't human either." Her voice ended in a whisper.

"What happened?" I asked feeling even more sorry for her.

"He hurt me both physically and emotionally. He left."

After she confessed that, the tears started to fall freely down her face.

And I felt a huge need to lift her up and hug her and soothe her but I knew it probably wasn't going to be my best choice. I ignored my reasoning and did that and I found that she didn't get scared, she willingly held on and just sobbed.

That is when I realized that I had now put both our life's problems unto each other and we had fallen in love.

8


End file.
